In memory of Mandy

I just took my hamster to be euthanized. I'm a pretty morbid person, and so one of the questions I always ask myself is whether or not I would condemn someone to death if it was the right thing to do. I guess now I have my answer. Clearly, I didn't want to do it, but once the facts were laid out, it was very obvious that this was the right thing to do. One of Mandy's eyes had ruptured, she had a tumor that was growing, she was completely inactive... if anything, I was tardy in my assessment of her condition. I don't know. I'm really confused right now. On the one hand, yes, I'm extremely distressed (and annoyed that I let myself get so attached to a bloody hamster); on the other hand, I'm remarkably collected, I feel absolutely no remorse for my actions. I accept full responsibility. And, you know, hate myself for it, but that's par for the course.

Enough nonsense. I should give a eulogy in honor of Mandy (and yes, in case you were wondering, she was named after Mandy Moore... her sister, still active and full of life, is named Britney, after, well, you-know-who; I swear, those were the first pair of female names that popped into my head). Anyway. Here's a poem:

Ode to Mandy

All living creatures do affect
each other's lives, in some respect;
their mere existence goes to show
the wave to which a ripple can grow.

One touch, one word, one deed, one look,
can have more impact than reading a book
in teaching someone the way to be,
to act, to feel, to sense, to see.

Animals are nature's way of directing
us to find the meaning of life. Butterflies flapping
never gave me much cause to transcend,
but hamsters? Oh Mandy, you were a good friend.

We're all doomed.

(This entry is in response to Stephanie J.'s post:The Real Bratz. I felt like my response was far too long to just be a "comment". Probably doesn't help that I just keep adding to this on breaks during my looser W-2 job. Or that I get melodramatic and start saying stuff like, "The end is nigh! Run for your lives!" *shakes head* I'm not very optimistic, am I?)

Stephanie J., you've hit the nail on the head; the key word is "entitled". This generation (Generation Y, Millenial Generation) grew up without experiencing any sort of economic deprivation; in fact, they experienced a burgeoning global market where technology improved the quality of life day by day. This is a group whose parents completely blurred the line between reward and punishment; a group that saw (and thus correlated) an increase in wealth over time. This is a group that was told "you are special" over and over again, such that the mere absence of compliments means the same thing as an insult. (Did you know the phrase "that's nice" really means "I wasn't paying attention because I couldn't care less about the subject" or "I'm trying not to be rude but I can't come up with any adjectives that aren't insulting"?) This generation is idealistic yet cynical, egocentric yet altruistic... thinks that they're capable of doing anything and yet isn't capable of choosing anything to do.

Casey perpetuates the notion that this generation is lazy, self-serving, and just plain clueless. It's very much the reason why I started following his story; I would have liked nothing more than to have seen him "pay back every dirty penny" and, in doing so, showing to the world that this generation, MY generation, isn't a complete loss. (y'know... "win-win"?) Alas, Snowflake just dug a deeper hole... but not literally because actual digging would require work.

There was an excellent article in the WSJ (The Most-Praised Generation Goes To Work, April 20, 2007) that talked about twenty-somethings joining the workforce and how their bosses have to heap endless praise and preface any criticisms with a "you did great on the project, but..." in order to keep up morale. That article pissed me off... mostly because it was right. I mean, we're all having "quarterlife crises", which is ridiculous; why can't we just get over ourselves?? Basically, we're all screwed unless we start holding ourselves accountable for our actions, following-through on commitments, and taking responsibility in shaping the future; otherwise, I'd really rather not be around when everything goes to hell.

If that's not bad enough, from what I've seen so far, the upcoming generation is even WORSE than us. If we reek of "entitlement", then they practically ooze it from their pores. And WE are responsible for guiding them...

Yeah, we're all doomed.

Damn you, Casey

(A/N: utter shite, but hey, I'm pissed.)

He who claims the Christian right
must remember to keep his sight
and wits about, for Haggai says,
"Give careful thought to your ways."

He who whines about his lack
and wants his lenders to cut him slack
has twisted truth within his mind
to portray himself as good and kind.

He who travels far and wide,
leaving a destitute wife behind,
continues to brag about being an ass,
ignoring that Google caches his past.

Oh he'll soon reach the end of his rope
and maybe (finally!) lose all hope
of scamming his way through life, "win-win";
you'll get your "sweet deal", Casey Serin.

Burn Clear

(written March 1st, 2003)

Shifting sands and desert winds
Blow directionless, scattered thin
A breath of dust, and specks of flash
Glitter in glory in brilliance smash.

In liquid chasms of silvery fire
Burn depths of ages gone, retired
To people, young old near far... fetched?
It was ridiculous, you silly wretch.

Simmer in the chilly heart
Steel doors trapped, ne'er to part,
Preservatives still kept fresh
Taint the soul, the mind, the flesh.

Did there ever exist a warmth
That didn't leave 3rd degree burns along arms?
Or a touch, of cool calm clear
That didn't reduce you to shivering tears?

Shine a light of brilliance grayed
Without the danger of lost sight in shades;
Sing a song of wonders foretold
Not of things lost, unclaimed, sold.

If past heralds future, clear and true,
What happens if no past is hidden in you?
No past, no future, a present of pain...
Not much of a gift to the millions slain.