In memory of Mandy

I just took my hamster to be euthanized. I'm a pretty morbid person, and so one of the questions I always ask myself is whether or not I would condemn someone to death if it was the right thing to do. I guess now I have my answer. Clearly, I didn't want to do it, but once the facts were laid out, it was very obvious that this was the right thing to do. One of Mandy's eyes had ruptured, she had a tumor that was growing, she was completely inactive... if anything, I was tardy in my assessment of her condition. I don't know. I'm really confused right now. On the one hand, yes, I'm extremely distressed (and annoyed that I let myself get so attached to a bloody hamster); on the other hand, I'm remarkably collected, I feel absolutely no remorse for my actions. I accept full responsibility. And, you know, hate myself for it, but that's par for the course.

Enough nonsense. I should give a eulogy in honor of Mandy (and yes, in case you were wondering, she was named after Mandy Moore... her sister, still active and full of life, is named Britney, after, well, you-know-who; I swear, those were the first pair of female names that popped into my head). Anyway. Here's a poem:

Ode to Mandy

All living creatures do affect
each other's lives, in some respect;
their mere existence goes to show
the wave to which a ripple can grow.

One touch, one word, one deed, one look,
can have more impact than reading a book
in teaching someone the way to be,
to act, to feel, to sense, to see.

Animals are nature's way of directing
us to find the meaning of life. Butterflies flapping
never gave me much cause to transcend,
but hamsters? Oh Mandy, you were a good friend.