Nonsense

I've been having really bizarre moods lately. This is why druggies don't just quit cold turkey... they get all messed up. Except, I want to mess myself up, right? None of it makes any sense. Sometimes I think I stopped making sense a long time ago, even though I am one of the most logical people I know. A name from the past appeared this week, and let me tell you, it was just so strange. It was so great to hear from him again, it's been about 14 years, and the time we spent together is something that I seem to have completely forgotten. But I think it was the last time I was truly happy. Because after that was when all the crap started. Maybe if we hadn't moved, things would have turned out differently, better perhaps? It's a moot point; life is what it is and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Anyway, so this guy friends me on Facebook, and he remembers me, and of course I remember him, he was probably my best friend back then... gawd we were so young. I really wish I remember more about that time, remember how I felt back then... I do remember a few events, good times and not-so-happy times, but even those not-so-happy times are completely trivial compared to everything that happened after. God, I miss those days... I swear that back then, I wasn't messed up, just spoiled. My god, I'd so much rather be spoiled shitless than whatever I am today, not knowing whether to laugh or cry or scream or just curl up into a ball and hide away from it all .

Wish I may, wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight.